Just another case of Dawn being Dawn!

If you know my wife, you know how funny, smart, beautiful and fun-loving she is.  You also probably know her lack of interest in things that aren’t dainty and girly, for example: camping, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, etc.  Knowing these things, I was pleasantly surprised during our recent vacation when she encouraged me to go on a bike ride through a nature preserve near the resort we were staying at.  5.5 miles is near enough on a bike, so I thought, “why not”.

Now, if you know my wife at all, then you know she’s 5 months preggo.  (And yes, I call her preggo.  It’s partially because I’m waiting for the opportune moment to say the phrase, “Leggo my preggo!”  Which hasn’t happened yet.  I emphasize yet.)  Anyways, at this point, I’m keenly aware that the preggo-ness usually lowers her enthusiasm and physical ability to do certain things.  This would include 10 mile bike rides.  But, she assured me she was both able and wanting to go.  So, like a good husband whose wife is preggo, I complied with her request.  Eagerly.  I promise.

The ride began uneventful enough.  We’d had a late breakfast, and were feeling good.  After all, 5.5 miles isn’t that far, right?  We weren’t going all that fast, but the pace was comfortable for her (slow for me).  We just couldn’t seem the get there however.  We had stopped a couple of times to enjoy some shade (who rides their bike mid-day for hours on end?), but soon realized we should have brought more water.  That, and 5.5 miles simply shouldn’t take this long.  The thought enters our minds that perhaps this place isn’t where the map said it was.  Or, that we simply didn’t have the energy (preggo at least) to make it 5.5 miles. We soon learned it was neither… it was that we hadn’t prepared mentally for the 7+ miles it was to actually get there (we learned this afterwards).

Somewhere on the way there, shortly before reaching the vending machine which happened to be 300 yards from the entrance to the park, Preggo had reached near exasperation and says to me, “I don’t even like nature that much!”  I laughed so hard I almost crashed into a palm tree.  I mean, I knew she didn’t like nature that much, but after her convincing words before we left and after feeling the efforts were fruitless, that comment sent us both reeling with laughter.  She’s just too funny!

Remember that vending machine?  That machine was nice enough to trade $2 for two bottles of water, which were not entirely cold but nonetheless refreshing.

Remember the $2 we traded for two bottles of water?  That $2 was the very same $2 that were intended to pay our entrance fee to this nature preserve.  A little detail Preggo had left out until we reached the entrance gate!  Not cool.  So not cool.

Thankfully, the Visitors Center was right there, so we strolled in to inquire as to a possible ATM or perhaps pay the entrance fee with a credit card.  No luck with either of those, but they had plenty bottles of water for sale.  Which could be paid for with a credit card!  DOH!  By this point, I’m of course giving Preggo a hard time because the vending machine was literally 3 minutes from the Visitors Center, and had we waited we could have had water and entrance fees paid for.  Now what do we do?

The polite, yet unsympathetic gentleman in the Visitor’s Center informed us that an ATM might be available “in town”, two more miles up the road.  And, he suggested I leave Preggo there and ride “to town” to get the money.  Thanks for the suggestion, dude.  An additional four miles to obtain $2 is just what will make this experience even more enjoyable.  Sweet.

Thirty minutes later, I return to the Visitor’s Center with a $5 bill and several drinks in tow.  (Thanks goes out to CVS for offering a wide selection of beverages and offering cash-back features at checkout)  I inform Preggo that I narrowly escaped death twice (1. Black Mamba snake barely missed my carotid artery  2. 13-foot gator tried to ambush me on a bridge), and we head on our way into the nature preserve.

We ride the 4 miles worth of gravel road (which was entirely uncomfortable for me, so I can’t imagine how Preggo made it out alive), see approximately four animals in our “nature ride” (RIP OFF) and head back to the resort for pool time.  Thankfully, we only had about 4 miles to ride after exiting the nature preserve, because I’m pretty sure Preggo would not have lasted any longer than that.  We did stop at a fun little general store for a quick bite and drink, before finishing the last two miles.  And for you mathematicians, our 11 mile round trip (remember that 5.5 from the beginning of the story?) turned into 16 miles for Preggo and over 20 miles for myself.  I still have yet to find out whether it was Preggo’s miscalculation or some map that was designed incorrectly.  I’d tell you that I would let you know, but I’m going to blame the map.  I’d say that is the more wise move, don’t you?

-B